Saturday, October 17, 2009

The "high need" child

I have always wondered if something was wrong with Olivia. No other child fussed as much as she did, wanted to be held or nursed as much as she did, or was as demanding as she was (is) . I have googled different problems: milk allergy, gas pains, etc but I never felt that she had one of those problems. I came across something this week called the "high need" child and it fits Olivia perfectly. These are the traits:

1) Intense - protests immediately when needs are not satisfied
2) Hyperactive - active, arches back and throws a tantrum when you try to sit with them
3) Draining - drains every bit of energy from parents from constant holding, nursing, comforting
4) Feeds frequently - nurses almost every hour, mother is a human pacifier
5) Demanding - very loud, lets you know exactly when needs are not satisfied
6) Awakens frequently - hard to get to sleep and hard to stay asleep, "walking on eggshells"
7) Unsatisfied - rock, bounce, nurse, play, read, etc and still baby is fussy
8) Unpredictable - mood swings from charmers to tantrum throwers, what works one day doesn't work the next
9) Super-sensitive - keenly aware of environment and people, also contributing factor to poor sleep
10) Can't put baby down - wants only human interaction (no swing, no crib, etc)... but human must move and cannot sit down
11) Not a self-soother - again relies on human for relaxation, cannot fall asleep on own
12) Separation sensitive - very selective about who cares for them

This describes Olivia to a T! I am happy to know that she is not hurt, but sad to realize that these issues are not going to disappear overnight after a certain development phase. She will most likely be "interesting" throughout her childhood and possibly into her teens. Now I need to read about "attachment parenting" in order to deal with this. Fortunately, I have mainly practiced this style of parenting.
Help!

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